F.R.I.E.N.D.S

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Ok, let me write you something personal. I don’t know what happened, has happened, or is happening now with myself but I am clouded with anxiety and worried. I have a loving boyfriend, caring friends, but every now and then I feel alone.

Friendship wise, especially. I know that people change, things change and I accept that. However, the fact that sometimes people who you think are closest to you think otherwise about you, is a rejection.

I have a best friend who has been with me for the longest time, yet, I never feel safe to tell her anything because why? I don’t think she cares that much, she cared about my agony and she wanted me to tell her all my painful stories without her trying to be helpful or even cheering me up. Now I ask myself again, “Does she just want to see me sad, so she thinks her life is happier than mine?”

You know those people who love to see other people’s pain just to make them feel better about themselves. I feel like I friend the wrong person. She talks bad things about her friends, again, I asked myself, “Does she talk bad things about me to her friends?”

Things change people. Money, change people. Sometimes you feel like, in this world there are too many layers in life that I find myself lost between those layers and sometimes needs direction of which to go, who to believe, and who to trust.

Today, I much rather to live by myself. Tell what needs to be told and keep things I feel to myself. Because really, from all those few who cares, how many that actually does? Only one or two, maybe.

Trust no one, but yourself. All those pain caused by the people I love might change me into a different person. Not bitter, but aware about life. About relationships. Aware about the fact that, there’s demons inside us. All in all is just the case of how well you keep them to stay asleep, by doing good things based on what majority thinks is good. By doing things you don’t like, and by keeping things close to yourself.

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2 thoughts on “F.R.I.E.N.D.S

  1. I hope that you find a better friend. My golden rule is to avoid a friend who talks about others. We know that we will be the next subject. Xoxo

  2. Yes I definitely have! We were good when we were younger but as we grew up I realized that we don’t have the same vision in life. A little unfortunate, but I guess if we break up with ex-boyfriends for the better, breaking up with ‘toxic’ friend will brings good things too.

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